


I may fail you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try

by SonofSallyJackson (thecompletebookworm)



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Frank has been aged down so he is the same age as Hazel, Gen, Grief, I promise there’s an eventual happy ending, Mourning, Percy got left in Tartarus AU, Survivor’s Guilt, absolutely not but I hope you’ll forgive me, also I’m bad at writing battle scenes sorry., basically child soldiers not doing so hot, because I wouldn’t be able to write this without it, but it won’t be here for a long time, but the kids are at war, if you’re not in a good head space mentally probably for the best if you sit this one out, is everything that happens even feasible?, like I guess we’re technically canon compliant, really the only ship present here is Percabeth, the seven will all appear at some point and character tags will be added gradually, they don’t have time to figure out new relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecompletebookworm/pseuds/SonofSallyJackson
Summary: “The cement settled in Percy’s stomach.  He had always suspected how this would end.  He would have to stay behind.  While Bob fended off the army, Percy would hold the elevator button and make sure Annabeth got to safety.  Somehow he had to convince her to go without him.  As long as she was safe and the Doors disappeared, he could die knowing he’d done something right.” (HoH pg. 467)A collection of scenes covering the potential scenario where only Annabeth made it out of Tartarus.  This will obviously be slightly darker than canon as there’s a lot of survivor’s guilt to work through.  Both sides of the war will need to shift strategies in Percy’s absence.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	1. Annabeth enters the elevator alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: I will be honest I needed an outlet for angst so I’m sorry about this. I’m also trying to rebuild my writing habit now that I’m out of school, hence the reason for the more manageable scene format as opposed to rewriting all of BoO. In general, every chapter will be named for the perspective character as well as roughly when it takes place. Individual Warnings will appear at the beginning of each chapter. (Also I promise more of A World Quite Not Her Own is coming. It was just a bit too fluffy for my current mood.)

**Warnings: Survivor’s Guilt, Death, Self-Sacrifice, War**

Annabeth always hated that she couldn’t control her crying. It was hard to get anyone to take you seriously when you could start crying at the drop of a hat. The tears just seemed to sneak out of her at every strong emotion. For gods’ sake, she cried when she was twelve and realized no one played fetch with Cerberus, despite the fact the dog had previously tried to kill her. But she felt fully justified now. 

The only thing that kept her strong enough to hold the doors, the literal border between life and death, shut was that she couldn’t let Percy’s sacrifice be in vain. She could barely keep herself upright. Her hair was singed, and her body was completely covered in scratches. 

They had so close to home. Her foot was wedged in the elevator doors that were a twisted copy of the ones she’d seen roughly once a year since she was eight, the ones she had gone up nearly every day for a month as she redesigned Olympus. They’d just needed a few more seconds. 

When she first heard Dameson’s voice, Annabeth thanked every god she could imagine even if it was unlikely they could hear her from here in Tartarus. He was willing to fight an impossible battle, just to keep them safe, to give them a chance to save the world. Percy left her holding the door open to give Bob a little extra cover as he ran from battle. The monster army was swarming closer, their momentary shock at the giant’s arrival gone. Annabeth could only watch helplessly as Percy burst the blood vessels in the ground, showering the nearby monsters in the Underworld’s deadly waters. 

Bob collapsed feet from the elevator’s doors. His janitor’s uniform outfit hung in tatters and completely soaked through with ichor. Percy knelt at the Titan’s side, letting Little Bob handle the few monsters closest to them so that he can get his friend’s dying words. 

Annabeth couldn’t hear Bob’s whispers, but she could hear Percy. His voice was almost unnaturally calm.

“No, Bob. You have nothing to apologize for. You were the best friend anyone can ask for and the best Titan.” 

The Titan faded into dust, and Percy rose. He had the look on his face that meant he had already made a decision, and she wouldn’t like it. “I love you.” 

“No. We leave together or not at all.” 

“I’m not just going to let you die.” 

Her voice was slightly hysterical. “And you think I will? I can’t do this without you.” They were so close to getting home. This couldn’t be happening. They’d only survived long because they had each other. _Because he had risked everything just to stay together_. 

He slid the door further open so he could get her inside and carried her across the elevator’s threshold, careful not to jostle the deep gash near her hip or her reinjured ankle.

Annabeth wasn’t sure if she wanted to push him away and escape from his arms so they can take their last stand together in Tartarus, or pull him closer, so he’s forced into the elevator with her, even if it means they won’t make it to the surface. They’re dead either way. 

“You’ve already done this without me. I was gone for nearly a year. You kept Camp running and found me. The team needs you.” 

“Percy, no. You have to come- We can’t- I can’t” Her words were a garbled mess, and she hoped he understood her. She’s desperate for him to realize that this is the worst idea he’s ever had. 

Percy squeezed her tightly, before reaching one hand up to pull off his beaded necklace. “You’ll need this more than I do. Tell my mom I love her. Tell her how hard I tried to come home.” His voice cracked, and she felt her tears worsen. 

“You promised we’d never be separated.” 

“I should have known I would have jinxed it. You taught me better than that on our first quest. Thinking in absolutes is just asking for trouble.” His broken smile let her know he’s trying to make a joke, trying to give her one last happy memory of him even as she leaves him to die. 

“I’ll see you in Elysium one day, Annabeth.” He gave her hand one last squeeze before resolutely holding down the button. 

“Percy!” She screamed even as the doors close. 

Annabeth couldn’t see him anymore, but she could still hear him, his last shouts barely audible over the roar of battle and shake of the elevator as it began to move. 

“I love you! Tell the others I’m proud of them!” 

Annabeth wasn’t sure if her broken “I love you!” reached him before the panels slid shut.


	2. Nico and Hazel reflect on Percy Jackson before Nico leaves with Reyna.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: General Discussion of Death, Grief

“Do you think we’d feel it?” 

Nico didn’t dare look at his sister. He knew what she’s talking about, who she’s talking about. 

“I wish I knew. Tartarus is-” He shuddered unable to finish that thought. 

Their room was silent for a moment and Hazel wiggled closer to him so they’re not quite touching as they lay in the bed in her room staring at the ceiling. She’s always been careful not to push Nico’s boundaries when it comes to physical contact, but now she needed him close, needs to prove to herself that he’s still alive and with her, even if that will change in a few hours. 

“I would know if he was getting judged.” Nico finally said. 

I would recognize his soul anywhere, he thought to himself. 

When Nico had first met Percy at ten, Percy had seemed like the perfect hero, everything he should aspire for himself. Then he had envied Percy’s powers, his swordplay, his ease around the other campers. Now, he was barely a year older than Percy had been when they first met, and he realized how scared Percy must have been. But Percy hadn’t seemed scared. He’d taken command of a bunch of children and somehow made them an army. 

If there was ever a demigod who deserved Elysium, it was Percy. He’d been ready to die for Olympus once, ready to die to protect a family that refused to acknowledge him most of the time. Yet, when given the chance for the ultimate acknowledgment, immortality, he told the gods to do better instead. 

“Is it bad that I miss his stupid jokes?” Nico asked. 

Hazel rolled over to face him. “I miss them too. Did I ever tell you how he absolutely lost it when I made a pun about Schist?” 

Nico felt himself smile despite everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter scene today and a nice reminder that my writing brain does not care about chronology.


	3. Frank realizes Percy didn't make it out of Tartarus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Grief and Canon Typical Violence
> 
> Takes place prior to the previous scene. Frank reaches the Doors of Death only to see that Percy did not make it out of Tartarus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: Before this chapter starts I figured I'd address the elephant in the room: Frazel. I am not at all a fan of Rick's reliance on relationships with large age gaps, especially in this case when Hazel, the only black girl in the crew who is expected to act so much older than her actual age. So really in writing this, I had three options: 1) Hazel and Frank's relationship is fundamentally a platonic one. 2) Hazel is aged up to decrease the age gap and make it so the rest of the team isn't ignoring the fact there's a child risking life and limb for this quest. 3) Frank is aged down. I took Option 3 because it never made sense to me why Frank needed to be 16 beyond it being some ceremonial age where Romans became men. So much of his story fits a younger character since it's about developing confidence, about feeling undeserving of a leadership role, about hating war because it got his mother killed but also seeing the value in fighting to defend oneself and one's family, about learning to understand your heritage and your talents. Also, Percy already treats him like a little brother so the dynamics of the characters really don't change if he's younger. I just have a lot of feelings about Frank and it makes me sad that he's basically reduced to a fatphobic moment and a skeevy highschooler preying on a middle-schooler. Maybe someday if I ever do the HOO complete rewrite I want I'll give Frank the character arc he deserved. 

Frank didn't realize how much he'd been waiting to tell Percy until the moment he stood at the Doors of Death with only Annabeth's motionless body.

It hadn’t mattered before that they were in Tartarus. This was Percy. And if there was ever a person who could get through Tartarus, it was Percy. Percy who saved his life within moments of meeting him, who thought the camp's safety was worth more than his memories. This was Percy who smiled at him as he declared “You first, Frank. This is your party,” and helped him storm the War games barricade. Percy who never doubted him even when he felt like a little kid leading a pointless quest. 

Maybe that was why Frank had so much hope. Percy had never stopped believing in him. 

Frank hadn’t envisioned a future where Percy didn't come back, where there was no racing in dolphin form through the ocean, or gentle teasing or late-night blue pancakes because neither one of them could sleep. Frank had subconsciously filed away all the moments he’d wanted to talk over with Percy as soon as he was back, because he was so certain. 

He'd told the others how he'd beaten the _katoblepones_ , but there were details that he'd left out. He didn't really know anyone on board besides Hazel and as much as he loved her, he'd also idolized her from the moment they'd met. He couldn't let himself fall apart in front of her, couldn’t let her know how scared he’d actually been. Her eyes had already been so sad when she kissed his cheek afterward as if she knew the carnage he’d put himself through. He couldn’t face that look again. Frank also wasn’t quite ready to admit to her that he had been willing to sacrifice himself just for the chance that she would be saved.

Frank had imagined a world where they sat side-by-side on Percy’s messy bed and all his thoughts would come streaming out of him, how scared of messing up he’d been, how he’d want to scream at his father as much as please him, how the blessing of Mars felt more like a curse because he didn’t recognize his own body anymore. Percy had come into his life and believed in him with so much faith, that it felt like a betrayal not to have the same faith in him. 

Even in the grips of battle as Frank’s mind cycled through different battle strategies and orders for his skeleton army, there had been a tiny part of him that already saw Percy’s smile at Frank being Praetor. It had been a fleeting moment, in the midst of anxiety and sweat, but the thought made him calmer, made him feel like he actually deserved the field promotion instead of being the literal only option. 

Mars had said his test of leadership was coming; the ghost of his ancestor had told him to take charge. He knew this was his moment to win or lose. Pain was unimportant. Failure was unthinkable. Frank threw every ounce of his energy into the battle. The blessing of Mars danced around his form as he cut down the enemy, as he shouted himself hoarse. Frank only allowed himself to truly breathe when Jason, Piper, Nico, and he stood alone amongst the dust of monsters and the bones of their army. 

Still, his friends were in danger. They moved quickly from one battle to another through a doorway that felt more like mist than solid stone. 

While Jason was able to shout a pithy line and dive straight into battling Clytius, Frank’s eyes found Hazel first. Her dark brown eyes were wide, but oh so determined. Their appearance seemed to give her the energy to lift her spatha and launch into another attack. 

He was strategizing where best to hit the giant when Frank saw the body by the door. The singular body haloed in blond curls and blood. 

Frank was no stranger to death. He was not the same boy who shot arrows at his grandmother’s porcelain instead of dealing with his mother’s death anymore. He did not cry. But it wasn’t because he’d been taught like all the other Romans that weakness meant death, or because he could practically hear his grandmother scolding him “Men do not cry. Especially Zhang men.” 

This time, Frank did not cry because every emotion inside him faded only to a raw fury. War was about blood and death, but it was also about the moment a soldier looked at his land, his wife, his family and howled to the wind that he would die before seeing them harmed. War was about protection just as much as vengeance. And right now, Frank saw something worth protecting. He would not lose anyone else. Thantos had taken too many people from him already, his mother, his grandmother, Percy. He would burn his own firestick before losing someone else. 


	4. Planning for the future and how to return the Athena Parthenos statue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sections of this chapter have been directly taken from the book (HOH 570-577). Somehow though I didn't include my favorite part, Frank calling Reyna a great leader, at least as good as Caesar so I'm reminding you that happened here.

The meeting with Reyna over how to return the Athena Parthenos was not the celebration in might have been in another world, a world where a picnic outside the collapsed House of Hades celebrated a reunion of their little team. Instead, the nine of them sat in the infirmary in a stilted silence, their loss heavy in the air. 

But it was more than just Percy's absence. The team was exhausted, battered, and bruised with the promise of only worse things to come. Hazel was barely sitting upright in her bed, tucked into Nico's side even though he didn't look much better, both completely spent from using too much energy escaping their father’s collapsing temple. Frank sat in a chair to their side, his bandaged hand in Hazel's. Leo paced, unable to conjure even a single joke despite his captive audience. It was the definition of less than ideal, but decisions needed to be made. 

They had delayed the meeting long enough already. When Hedge pulled their ship up to the hill, Jason carried an unconscious Annabeth onboard, clutching her tightly to his chest. They laid her in the first bed in the infirmary. It had taken several hours for her to wake-up. Hours that were spent telling Reyna what had happened and with Coach Hedge swearing under his breath and muttering things like, “"I know Sports Medicine, Valdez. I'm not a miracle worker." But once even Annabeth could sit upright with the help of a mountain of pillows, they could delay no longer. 

Jason tapped his foot absentmindedly as he polished his gladius to give himself something to do. “It’ll be safer if we keep the ship airborne.” 

Leo nodded. “We might need to come down at some point for repairs, but I think it’s the best strategy without- with the children of Poseidon’s least favorite brothers on board.” 

“I don’t know how he’ll react when he knows either.” Annabeth’s voice was barely a whisper. “Poseidon has always been protective of his children. Odysseus was delayed for years after hurting Polyphemus. If we’re lucky, he doesn’t blame…” 

Annabeth’s voice trailed off as if she couldn’t force herself to say the truth. It was her fault Percy was dead. While Poseidon had not been antagonistic about their relationship like her mother had, he would never be able to forgive her for leaving his favorite son in Tartarus. 

Hazel swallowed. “I cut the chains. I’m the one who trapped him down there.” 

“No. Percy knew what he was doing.” 

Annabeth shook her head firmly despite her grimace of pain. She could blame herself, but she couldn’t let the younger girl do that as well. She had carried the guilt of Luke’s betrayal on her conscious when she was Hazel’s age; she would not let the Hazel carry her burden. 

Annabeth ran her fingers over the matching trident beads on their necklaces. “He made the decision to sacrifice himself. We needed the doors closed. My mother always said he would destroy the world in order to save a friend, and being Percy, he found a way to save both.” 

No one mentioned that he truly hadn’t. Percy had gotten Annabeth to safety, gotten their chief strategist back to them, but this war was far from over. The world was not saved and despite traveling without him for three weeks now, they still weren’t sure how they were going to do this without him. It had taken all of them working together to defeat Clytius. They were no match for the giants and Gaea. 

Piper was the one to finally break the awkward silence. “I’ve had visions of Gaea rising at Camp Half-Blood.” She pulled out her knife and turned into so everyone in their circle could see despite the fact that it currently reflected only the wood of the ship’s walls. “I’ve been seeing some bad stuff in the knife. The Roman Legion is almost within striking distance of Camp Half-Blood. They’re gathering reinforcement: spirits, eagles, wolves.”

“Octavian,” Reyna growled. “I _told_ him to wait.” 

“When we take over command, our first order of business should be to load Octavian into the nearest catapult and fire him as far away as possible,” Frank suggested. 

Reyna gave her new co-leader a small smile. “But for now, he’s intent on war.”

“He’ll have it. Camp is our-their home,” Jason corrected himself quickly, not meeting Reyna’s gaze. 

He loved Camp Half-Blood, but New Rome had been his first home, even if he didn’t remember everything. But he did remember their late-night sparring so he didn’t have to worry about the son of Jupiter losing in front of the others and grabbing hot chocolate and brownies before muster. He couldn’t let it go so easily when his best friend from that life was standing right in front of him. 

Jason continued, “The Greeks won’t leave it undefended.”

Piper squeezed his hand before redirecting their attention back to the knife. “That’s not the worst of it. I saw images of a possible future – the camp in flames, Roman and Greek demigods lying dead. And Gaea...” Her voice failed her. 

“A future that can be changed if I bring the statue back. That was Annabeth’s message for me. It must be returned to Camp Half-Blood by a Roman leader. Do I understand correctly?” Reyna may only be wearing her Camp Jupiter t-shirt and jeans, but she stood like she was still in her armor, back straight, head high, a general ready to command her troops.

Annabeth nodded. “I had a dream down in … you know Tartarus. I was on Half-Blood Hill and Athena’s voice said, _I must stand here. The Roman must bring me_.”

“It makes sense. The statue is a powerful symbol. A Roman returning it to the Greeks … that could hold the historic rift, maybe even heal the gods of their split personalities.” 

“I mean great plan guys, but we have what- two weeks until that Roman feast day when Gaea is supposed to rise?”

“July eighteenth. So, yeah, from tomorrow, exactly fourteen days.” Frank offered.

“So, given our usual luck,” Leo said his pacing increasing in speed, “maybe we have enough time to get the Argo II to Athens, find the giants, and stop them from waking Gaea. Maybe. But how is Reyna supposed to get this massive statue back to Camp Half-Blood before the Greeks and Romans put each other through the blender? She doesn’t even have her pegasus anymore. Uh, sorry—” 

Reyna took a deep breath, willing herself not to say anything she’d regret. “Unfortunately, Leo is correct. I don’t see how I can transport something so large. I was assuming—well, I was hoping you all would have an answer.”

“If Leo could build some sort of shed or rig, I could go. If I’m praetor I probably should go.” 

At Reyna’s confused expression, Frank transformed into a bulldog and back again. “I have the gift of Pylos. I’m not sure what would be big enough to support the statue but-“

“No Frank Zhang. I hope we will work side by side in the future, but for now, your place is with the crew of this ship. You are one of the seven of the prophecy.”

Nico untangled himself from his position cuddling with Hazel to sit up properly. “I’m not.”

“Nico-“

“I’ll go with Reyna,” he said. “I can transport the statue with shadow-travel."

Annabeth bit her lip. “Are you sure? You’re already exhausted. You fought your way through Tartarus by yourself and then were held captive. Do you really think you can handle this?” 

Nico rolled his eyes. “Transporting the statue isn’t going to break me.” 

“Nico,” Jason intervened, “we’re not questioning your power. We just want to make sure you don’t kill yourself trying.”

“I can do it,” he insisted. “I’ll make short jumps—a few hundred miles each time. It’s true, after each jump I won’t be in any shape to fend off monsters. I’ll need Reyna to defend me and the statue.”

Reyna had an excellent poker face. She studied the group, scanning their faces, but betraying none of her own thoughts. “Any objections?”

“I don’t like this, but I can’t think of anything better.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, the next update will come much quicker than this one. Next chapter, we're returning to Tartarus.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see specific moments/character reactions in this AU, let me know either in the comments here or at my Tumblr (sonofsallyjackson). As of right now, I don’t want to cover events later than their arrival in Athens or roughly chapter 37 in the Blood of Olympus. I’ll get to later things eventually, but I like being able to play around with the events in this time frame first. (I'm basically just trying to provide at least minimal timeline for my brain by dividing the fic into 3 sections: preparing for battle, battling giants, battling Gaea.)


End file.
